Legendary Meeting
by Mistress Katt
Summary: ONE-SHOT! Arceus declares a mandatory meeting of the legendaries on the first of every month. Of course no one wants to go, and this leads to some problems. Read for a laugh.


I had this idea a while back, and I finally got around to typing it up. Enjoy :)

And yes, I gave them genders for the sake of the story, so just roll with it, okay?

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"God, I hate these meetings. Arceus is such a fag," muttered Giratina from the Distortion World. He was preparing to step through his portal and meet the others in the Plane of Perfect Existence, the place where only perfect beings such as legendaries could enter.

It all started when the Legendaries had their yearly meeting about who to kill off and such, when Mew, damn that pink loser, complained about how boring it was to be a legendary. She complained about how she had too much free time, and then Arceus decreed that all the legendaries meet on the first of every month to have fun together and not be bored anymore.

Usually these meetings end in disaster.

Giratina stepped through the portal and moments later was standing in the Plane of Perfect Existence.

"Get the fuck off of me!" yelled a voice. Giratina looked down to see that he was squashing poor little Shaymin in her land form.

"No! You get out from under my foot!" Giratina roared. Shaymin glared up at him in annoyance.

"Look on the bright side! At least neither of you is bored right now!" said Arceus cheerfully, stepping into the light.

Giratina and Shaymin both cursed under their breath.

"I'm heee-eeeeere!" announced a sing-song voice. The three turned to see Mew flipping through the air. "Mew-two isn't coming! And neither are the stupid birds! Can you believe it!? They said they had better things to do! Unbelievable!"

"I can believe it," said Crescelia as she appeared. Darkrai was close behind her, looking stoned.

"How come he gets to be on drugs when he's here?" Shaymin asked, squeezing out from under Giratina's foot.

"The point in coming here is to have fun," Darkrai said. "And this is way more fun than hanging out with you guys."

"Oh, by the way, none of the Johto or Hoenn pokemon are coming," Mew said.

"How come so many of us are able to get out of this?!" Giratina grumbled.

"Who cares? With less of us here, we can all become closer!" Arceus encouraged.

"Someone use Hyper Beam on me," moaned Crescelia.

"It's not really fair that we have to come just because we live in Shinnoh," Giratina reasoned. "I mean, I'm not even one of the good guys!"

"My flowers!" shrieked Shaymin. "You've crushed them you stupid fat ass legendary!"

"Actually, I'm supposed to be one of the _bad_ guys!" Giratina continued, ignoring Shaymin.

"But it's a truce!" explained Arceus. "You can be friends with the good guys here!"

"Y'know. I tried to be a good guy once. Didn't work out. You have to pay more taxes," inserted Darkrai.

"Wait. What about the Unova legendaries? Where are they? If they can get out of this too, then I'm not coming next month!" complained Giratina.

"Actually, the only ones who want to be here are Arceus and Mew. Anyone else see a connection?" Crescelia asked.

"They're both pink," answered Darkrai.

Shaymin gave him a look that said 'what the fuck?'

"Arceus isn't pink, dumbass!"

"He looks pink to me! Are you on drugs or something?"

Shaymin smashed her head into the ground.

"What's her problem?" asked Darkrai.

"She's sexually frustrated," answered Giratina.

"Ahah! Back to my earlier statement!" shouted Crescelia. "We should all stop coming except for Mew and Arceus, and then they can get it on and they won't be bored anymore! But we won't have to come to these stupid meetings!"

The other legendaries 'ooh'ed and 'aah'ed.

"Wh...what?!" stuttered Mew, blushing madly.

"Not a bad idea," said Arceus with a creepy grin.

"Good! Then it's all settled!" Crescelia announced. She stepped through the portal that would return her to Half Moon Island.

The other legendaries left as well, leaving Mew and Arceus alone.

"So... you wanna get it on?" asked Arceus.

"You know it," said Mew.

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Yes, I know legendaries can't breed. It's a joke, people!

If you like it, review it!


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